i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize