I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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