Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
only you would photoshop your dick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
