Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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