oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
