Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
