also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
