I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
