onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
