He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
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It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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