Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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