I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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