i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize