Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
