YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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