I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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