Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

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(970): View more from Colorado

He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.

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(209): View more from California

So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.

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