Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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  (630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v
  Replies (26) Good night (2588) Bad night (575)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"

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  (517): the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed" http://tfl.nu/ho10
  Replies (132) Good night (5100) Bad night (740)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid

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  (478): tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid http://tfl.nu/h4uf
  Replies (9) Good night (3478) Bad night (523)
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  (619): View more from California

  you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.

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  (619): you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you. http://tfl.nu/x6wp
  Replies (9) Good night (5900) Bad night (591)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.

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  (773): I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do. http://tfl.nu/ja9q
  Replies (12) Good night (2305) Bad night (4172)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....

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  (215): Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour.... http://tfl.nu/achx
  Replies (6) Good night (3873) Bad night (858)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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  (704): there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone http://tfl.nu/ttuj
  Replies (3) Good night (2779) Bad night (626)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?

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  (814): so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass? http://tfl.nu/0xyl
  Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (2059)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.

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  (530): I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims. http://tfl.nu/5fbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1946) Bad night (1012)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.

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  (519): I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT. http://tfl.nu/zwn2
  Replies (3) Good night (2630) Bad night (561)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You would be my first round pick for a drinking team

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  (541): You would be my first round pick for a drinking team http://tfl.nu/sq48
  Replies (6) Good night (1492) Bad night (423)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

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  (210): I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish http://tfl.nu/kpto
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (370)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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  (605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (280)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.

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  (860): Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night. http://tfl.nu/jb56
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (199)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.

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  (337): I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it. http://tfl.nu/cfzm
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (189)

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