why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize