i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
