Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos