Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around

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  (814): I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around http://tfl.nu/xsf6
  Replies (13) Good night (1320) Bad night (2393)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

  (904): View more from Florida

  Both

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  (954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w
  Replies (18) Good night (6406) Bad night (924)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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  (415): I'll probably hate you when I'm sober http://tfl.nu/uq7b
  Replies (28) Good night (3775) Bad night (1020)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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  (623): Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth? http://tfl.nu/7zio
  Replies (34) Good night (912) Bad night (11925)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me

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  (515): They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me http://tfl.nu/jqeo
  Replies (30) Good night (1956) Bad night (5981)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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  (703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh
  Replies (4) Good night (1961) Bad night (5271)
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  (914): View more from New York

  shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness

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  (914): shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness http://tfl.nu/7ruk
  Replies (32) Good night (2187) Bad night (4866)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?

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  (616): what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame? http://tfl.nu/ixm6
  Replies (29) Good night (1763) Bad night (4041)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.

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  (904): I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch. http://tfl.nu/opx0
  Replies (15) Good night (1141) Bad night (3432)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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  (512): when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table. http://tfl.nu/utxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains

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  (941): Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains http://tfl.nu/tyep
  Replies (11) Good night (2746) Bad night (1277)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.

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  (+44): Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight. http://tfl.nu/uuv5
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

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  (519): I am not being the messenger for your booty call. (250): I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one. http://tfl.nu/rzt1
  Replies (1) Good night (942) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.

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  (609): Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum. http://tfl.nu/2wyb
  Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.

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  (503): I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress. http://tfl.nu/qmrb
  Replies (6) Good night (490) Bad night (1289)

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