wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...