so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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