If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
