I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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