i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize