How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
