so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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