hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
