He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
