The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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