how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
