Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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