i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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