Moan for me like Helen Keller
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
