NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
