So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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