ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
