just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
