Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize