I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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