You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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