Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
