i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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