tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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