The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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