To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
