Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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