dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
