I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
