Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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  (902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear. http://tfl.nu/kiqt
  Replies (39) Good night (716) Bad night (7027)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

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  (917): you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom? http://tfl.nu/36az
  Replies (238) Good night (5044) Bad night (1291)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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  (501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date??? http://tfl.nu/obkl
  Replies (30) Good night (6476) Bad night (1275)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.

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  (775): they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it. http://tfl.nu/g3nc
  Replies (19) Good night (5954) Bad night (872)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.

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  (505): i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to. http://tfl.nu/elff
  Replies (3) Good night (2653) Bad night (953)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

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  (361): After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge. http://tfl.nu/26oy
  Replies (14) Good night (5084) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

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  (740): Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed? http://tfl.nu/4keg
  Replies (12) Good night (2911) Bad night (1088)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty

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  (408): I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty http://tfl.nu/k1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1465) Bad night (2677)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (941): We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/js7j
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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  (612): You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms. http://tfl.nu/grmf
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (326)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?

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  (817): Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night? http://tfl.nu/hlmk
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.

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  (276): Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well. http://tfl.nu/93p0
  Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.

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  (508): I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi. http://tfl.nu/i78a
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups

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  (509): My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups http://tfl.nu/v3c2
  Replies (5) Good night (321) Bad night (551)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.

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  (201): But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling. http://tfl.nu/g0mj
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (346)

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