Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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