Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize