i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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