Whod you bang
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
