i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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