Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
