she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
