Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Where is the hickey?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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