She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize