He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
