i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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