East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Randomize
