You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Your tits are I can't wait for
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
