oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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