Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
