Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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