So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize