you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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