before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
