it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is my gift to your gina
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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