I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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