Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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